The Bible has a very high view of marriage. This assertion needs no more proof than the fact that when God expressed His love for His people Israel in the Old Covenant, He called them His wife. Moreover, Christ’s love for His people in the New Covenant (i.e. the Church) is also described in nuptial terminology. Thus, your covenant relationship as groom and bride carries great significance, similar to God’s covenant with His people.
A covenant is a “binding contractual agreement,” but this should not cause you to think of a cold, business-like relationship. That is certainly not how the Bible speaks of it. Consider the following passages (emphasis added):
Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth (Proverbs 5:18).
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband (Proverbs 12:4).
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD (Proverbs 18:22).
An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels (Proverbs 31:10).
The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘Woman’, because she was taken out of man. For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:23-25).
God’s Word speaks of marriage using language of rejoicing, intimacy, unity, blessing, preciousness, excellence, nakedness, and shamelessness. There is nothing cold and business-like about that.
So the question is, how do you think and speak of your marriage? Do you use words like rejoicing, intimacy, and blessing? Does your spouse? If so, why? And, have you told your spouse lately? If not, why not? And, what will you do to change that?
Since Doug and I have been married (18 years this month), we have never ever even entertained the idea of the d-word. In fact, we agreed early on that not only would we never consider the concept, we would never use the word. Of course, I’m referring to the word divorce. We don’t use other “d-words” either, at least as verbs. Words such as desert, ditch, dissolve, disconnect, detach, disassociate, or divide (unless we’re talking about sharing a piece of pie). We understand that this isn’t a temporary arrangement. Doug has made it clear that he is stickin’ around through thick and thin, and knowing this is a great source of security for me.
On Sunday, Krista and I celebrated our eighteenth wedding anniversary. Part of our celebration included watching the movie Inception, which, by the way, we both rated very highly. (She was as eager to see it as I was . . . just a small reason why she is the world’s greatest wife.) Before the movie, we visited a nearby barista and strolled around an outdoor mall. As we walked, we talked. Specifically, we reflected on our wedding ceremony. It was largely a quiet reflection, however, because we could hardly remember anything about it. So we expanded our reflection to the early years of our marriage. Again we labored to remember details. Now, for me to forget the details of an event is not terribly remarkable, even if the event occurred yesterday. Or earlier this morning. But for my wife to experience such recall failure is significant.
Guys, remember when you could hardly wait for Friday night? That young lady who made your heart skip a beat every time your eyes met, you were taking her out yet again. You just couldn’t wait until the next time you would be together, and neither could she. The anticipation made the culmination that much sweeter. So, why, now that you’ve had years to enjoy each other, does that anticipation (and culmination) have to be absent? It doesn’t. Trust me. Your wife longs for the thrill of those dating days. Really. Here are several reasons she would love for you to date her again . . .