God's Design for Marriage

Category Archives: Helpful Resources

My Husband, the Author

When that first proof of his book arrived, I was almost as excited as he was. I had to wait for him to arrive home before I could lay my eyes on the first material copy of his months of work. I could hardly wait! (It took longer to publish his first book than it took to gestate any of our children!) And now it’s finished …

Have you ever attempted something new without the full understanding of what it entailed? You get half-way into a project of any sort and realize,”Yikes, this is a lot bigger than I thought.” I think it often happens with home remodeling projects, but recently I learned that it can happen with other things as well. That’s how I felt when my husband began writing his book. Actually, he was about half-way into it when I realized, “Wow, this is a lot bigger and much more involved than I thought.”

For those of you who have never undertaken to write and publish a book, here’s a little description of how it might go:

  • Live for years with thoughts filling your head trying to escape onto a written page.
  • Choose a title.
  • Work for months pouring out your heart and soul and mind onto the written page.
  • Change the title.
  • Continue allowing the thoughts to escape, but carefully crafting the words … and recrafting.
  • Sit and watch your wife sob as she reads the first chapter wondering whether she’s touched or if it’s really that bad.
  • Piece by piece reveal those outworkings for the critique and opinions of others, making yourself completely vulnerable.
  • Consider those opinions … and recraft some more.
  • Change the title again.
  • Painstakingly endure your editor’s copyediting ensuring every comma, capital letter, and italicized word is correct.
  • Spend weeks formatting the layout, measuring margins, and selecting fonts and sizes.
  • Finally finalize the title.
  • Collaborate for weeks with a graphic designer on cover art.
  • Endure everyone’s opinion of the possible cover art.
  • Stand firm on your decision of the cover art.
  • Read it again … and one more time before sending it to be published.
  • Wait anxiously for days for the first proof to arrive.

This is only my interpretation of how my husband spend the past year of his life. But as I reflect on the mental and emotional energy he spent, I am awed, inspired, impressed, and proud (as his wife should be). I pray it makes an impact on all who read it. It’s a book about “putting Jesus in His place” — in your life, in your marriage, in your family, in everything — Exalted, where Jesus belongs. I encourage you to get your hands on a copy. Read it, and allow the Spirit to use it for your good and Jesus’ glory.

Help! What to Get Him/Her for Christmas…

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a call to assist your fellow man and woman. Many of us struggle to decide what to buy for our spouses for Christmas. So, we’re asking for your help. Please leave a comment answering either or both of the following:

*A gift I received in the past that I really liked was __________?

*I think a great gift for a husband/wife would be ____________.

[Feel free to give more than one.]

The Benefit of Those Who Have Gone Before

What’s the best way to get a preview or heads-up for the next stage of your marriage? Talk to those who are either doing it now or who have done it recently. For example, if you are planning to start a family, talk to someone with a newborn. If you’re considering homeschooling, talk to a family that currently homeschools. If your last kid is leaving for college and your nest is about to be empty, talk to a couple who did this last year. You may not even know the right questions to ask, but just asking them to share can open the door for a wealth of information. Have them over for dinner. Find out what to do — and what not to do. Pick their brains.

The year before we began our family, a close friend of mine had her first child. A few months into my pregnancy, I took her to lunch and then to BabiesRUs. It was fantastic! As we walked up and down every aisle, she told me what we would need, what she considered a luxury item, what really wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, and some secret favorites that weren’t common knowledge. I felt so prepared because she took the time to tell me what was ahead.

We also latched onto a family with children several years older than ours and sought their advice on many occasions. We asked them about discipline and schooling and life in general with kids. And because we’d seen the outcome of their efforts in well-behaved children, we implemented many of their principles and practices as we’ve been traveling the parenting road.

Of course, not every couple’s path is going to be exactly the same, but there are some universal truths that everyone experiences. And it helps to know about them in advance and to come up with a game plan for when these things happen. In our pre-marital counseling, Doug and I try to do this very thing in hopes that the couples won’t be surprised or anxious, but well-equipped for not only those first days, weeks, and months, but hopefully the years to come. And we make it clear that they can always come back and talk to us any time so that we can continue to help them be ready for what’s coming next.

So take advantage of those who have gone before. You’ll be glad that you did.

 

Save the Males

A good friend drew our attention to a fine article about men and masculinity. It’s called Save the Males. Read it. Here’s how it begins:

Have you noticed? Men are fools.

For proof, just look at the jokes, the innuendo of stupidity, and the subject of thousands of sitcom gags. The fool, the oaf, the bumbling male is so common in movies that it’s expected. Jim Carrey, Jack Black, Ray Romano, and Owen Wilson have made millions strutting this persona.