Last week, I wrote about how important it is for a husband to cherish his wife. Today, I want to continue that theme…
Your wife will only feel treasured if you really treasure her. It cannot be faked or stumbled upon. It is shown (or not) by your attitudes and actions, moment by moment, day by day. It shows in the decisions you make, how you spend your time and money, where you live, and so on. It includes big things and little things.
It is especially evident when you choose things that your wife knows you don’t particularly like. For example, I hate cats. As a pastor-theologian who knows Greek and Hebrew, I can tell you with authority that cats were not part of the original good creation. God didn’t create them; Satan did. They rose out of the pit after the Fall, and will perish with him and his demons. But, I love my wife. And so, on Valentine’s Day some years ago, I bought my wife not one, but two cats. I paid for their shots, food, and collars. I turned a deaf ear to their incessant meowing, a blind eye to their marring of our best furniture. I resisted every urge to torture them. (Okay, not every urge. But the little imp deserved it. Really. What could I do? It was my righteous duty before God…) Why did I do this? Because I value my wife and want to make her happy. To show her that I treasure her above myself, I invited those diabolical beasts into our lives. By this action, she knew I loved her.
Friend, let me tell you something which if you can cement into your thinking and behaving will make you a very happy man (and your wife a very happy woman). It’s simply this: A cherished woman wants to please her husband. Memorize that and believe it. It will be the difference between marital bliss and marital blah.
There are endless ways for a husband to cherish his wife. We will consider some of them later. For now, you must firmly grasp that you (husband) are to treasure your wife the way that Christ treasures the Church. He doesn’t always give us what we want, but He always gives us what we need. And He communicates that we are worthy of His infinitely costly self-sacrifice. Moreover, He continues to lavish every good gift upon us, freely giving us all things, culminating in the eternal joy of eternal life with Him in the paradisal new earth. That is the pattern for husbands to cherish their wives.
- Husband, what things are you willing to sacrifice in order to love your wife? Is there anything you are unwilling to sacrifice for her? Wife, tell him something you know he has given up for you. Tell him something you don’t think he would give up for you.
- Wife, do you feel like his highest treasure? Tell him why or why not.
- Wife, when talking on the phone with him, does it ever seem as though you are bothering him? Or face-to-face, does he “go other places” in his mind while you are talking? If so, how does it make you feel? Explain it to him.