As I have said before, inhibition is one of the chief adversaries of sexual delight. We cannot give or receive pleasure if we are trying to hide. One reason a person hides is feeling ashamed of his or her body shape and appearance. If a person is embarrassed to be naked in front of their spouse, sexual pleasure is severely hampered. (And, it’s pretty doggoned hard to have sex without being naked. So, something’s got to give.)

 

Being okay with being naked

When nakedness brings embarrassment, both partners play a part in overcoming it:

The embarrassed partner has the responsibility to fight through his or her pride in order to become more concerned about their mutual pleasure than about their own appearance. He or she must trust that their spouse’s love is not contingent upon looks. They need to realize that withholding (or holding back) because of appearance is a selfish crime. Crime? Yes. It’s robbery. It’s stealing pleasure from both of you because you don’t feel comfortable in your own skin.

Maybe you should lose a few pounds. Maybe you should realize that gravity happens. Maybe you should just be content. But there is no maybe to the fact that you should give yourself to your spouse uninhibitedly. Whatever you have (or don’t have), make it available with eagerness. You may be surprised by how enthusiasm changes the perceptions of both of you in the bedroom.

The other partner must express approval and acceptance of the embarrassed husband or wife. Grace and admiration can go a long way to reduce inhibitions. On the other hand, jokes and degrading comments produce inhibitions. Your job is to do whatever it takes to convince your spouse that you find them sexually attractive and interesting. Keep your eyes only for each other, and don’t make comparisons. Be persuasive in your appreciation of and desire for your spouse, soul and body.

Both partners must beware of the sin of American fitness-ism. Being good stewards of our health is good. And there is nothing wrong with wanting to become more attractive to our spouse. Nevertheless, neither partner should be preoccupied with supermodel physiques. Great sex requires our bodies, but it’s more about what we do with them than what they look like.