4 Foundation Stones
Devotional Stone
Financial Stone
Parental Stone
Sexual Stone
NOTE: The following building blocks are for those who have children at home. If you do not have kids, go here.

Building Block 1—Set Parenting Expectations and Goals

God has set the ultimate goal of parenting for you—your children are to love and obey Jesus (Eph. 6:1-4). There are many aspects to it, and it spills over into education, hobbies, friendships, etc., but pleasing Christ is the core value of parenting. What this looks like depends on the age and maturity of the child. As parents, you need to agree about where your kids are in the maturing process and where they need to be. With this building block, you will put into writing your big-picture goals for your children.

You need to approach this in three steps:

  1. Evaluation. Spend some time together discussing where each of your children are on the path of Christian maturity. Take notes and plan another session or two if needed to gain an accurate picture. (Note: Discipline will be addressed in the next building block, so keep this one to things like spiritual growth, education, principles of money, basic skills, and so on.)
  2. Implementation. Write a one-page overview of your goals for your children and how you will help them achieve those goals. Then do it.
  3. Review. Schedule regular review sessions to discuss how it’s going. Also, as the children age, you will need to write new overviews appropriate to their stage of life.

Action—Write a one-page overview of your parenting goals

When Do We Move to the Next Building Block?

As soon as you have written the overview.

Progress 33%

Building Block 2—Create a Discipline Plan

God expects parents to discipline their children. This includes teaching, correcting, and establishing consequences for disobedience (see Heb. 12:5-13). Too often, husbands and wives are on different pages about what is expected of children and what the consequences will be for disobedience. This creates tension in the marriage and confusion in the child. In this building block, you will agree on how to approach discipline.

So here’s your project: write a one-page discipline plan together that includes what obedience/disobedience looks like, what rewards will be given for obedience, what consequences will be given for disobedience. It’s very important that your are unified in these things.


  1. Keep things simple. In our house we required first-time obedience; anything else received discipline. We didn’t get into nuances of attitudes, delayed obedience, or other nebulous things.
  2. If you find it difficult to agree on this, seek counsel from mature parents or your elders. Again, it is very important that you approach this together.
  3. Establish regular review sessions to evaluate how consistent you are with this. Like with the previous block, you will need to change things with older kids.

Action—Write a one-page discipline plan

When Do We Move to the Next Building Block?

We recommend that you focus on consistency with the discipline plan for two weeks before moving to the next block.

Progress 66%

Building Block 3—Create a Regular Planning Time

We hear it all the time—”She’s the planner,” or “He’s the planner.” While it may be true that one of you is more given to planning than the other, you both need to have some investment in planning if you are going to feel like partners. Having a regular time to look ahead and decide how you will use your time will not only help you prioritize, it will keep working together on life.

This building block is to establish a weekly time to plan together what you will do during the upcoming week.


  1. Set aside 30-60 minutes every week to plan next week. (It may become shorter as you get into a routine.)
  2. Put the most important items on the calendar, then plan around them.
  3. Be sure to include date night (see sexual stone), family time, church activities, and other significant events.
  4. Don’t plan too much.
  5. Stick to your plan as much as possible. Be willing to say no to things that are less important than what you already have planned, but be flexible when more important things come up.

Action—Establish a weekly planning time

After three weeks of consistently planning your week, move on to the Sexual Stone.

Progress 100%
Sexual Stone
Building Block 1
Building Block 2
Building Block 3