At creation there was no fear, mistrust, selfishness, or displeasure. Adam and Eve were utterly naked and utterly unashamed. For some of us, that is almost impossible to imagine. The thought of allowing someone else to see us, inside or out, without the slightest covering falls somewhere between uncomfortable and terrifying. Yet, it was true in the beginning. There was nothing to hide and no one to hide from. Like other creatures, the original humans went without clothes and without shame.

Sin changed all of this. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God, they hid from Him. When He asked for an explanation of their actions, they turned on each other. No longer could they trust. No longer would they be naked. They were embarrassed, shy, and estranged. They would cover up their bodies so that others, even their most intimate companion, would not be able to see the most vulnerable parts of their humanity. Now, a barrier must shield humans from God and each other.

But the gospel brings another change. Because of the cross, we are completely acceptable to God. We have no reason to fear Him. We can trust Him, open ourselves completely to Him, desire to be in His presence, and want to please Him, all without hesitation or reservation. God is no longer a threat. In fact, He is our greatest friend. He welcomes us into His presence. Although we can never truly hide from Him anyway, there is now no reason to want to. We can once again be naked and unashamed before Him.

Marriage is intended to demonstrate that openness. More than any other relationship, we should be willing to expose ourselves to our spouse. We should trust our spouse with our innermost, most intimate thoughts, feelings, and desires. And, we should trust our spouse with our bodily nakedness. In fact, we should long for it and pursue it. This requires an “active faith” on the part of each partner. It also requires us to earn the trust of our spouse.

Such unashamed nakedness is key to enjoyable sex. Obviously, we have to take off our clothes to engage in sexual activity. But, mere external disrobing, if not accompanied by internal disrobing, will not lead to deep pleasure. To truly “make love,” we have to reveal our hearts with our bodies. To the degree that you fail to do this, you inhibit the experience for both of you.

If you want to have better sex, choose to trust. Get really naked. Have sex uncovered.