4 Foundation Stones
Devotional Stone
Financial Stone
Parental Stone
Sexual Stone

Building Block 1—Date Night

Marriages have to be cultivated in order to stay healthy and growing. Cultivation takes knowledge, intentionality, and time. Life is filled with many responsibilities, but rarely should they require you to sacrifice your devotion to one another. We believe regular dates are essential to thriving marriages. Discuss what evening is the best for date nights (consistency is preferred) and commit to plan around them.

Recommendations:

  1. Husband, you should plan the vast majority of date nights. And by planning we mean, you think through where you’re going, what you’re doing, what you’re going to talk about on the date, and who’s watching the kids (if applicable), then make it happen.
  2. Wife, you should make time to mentally and emotionally prepare to be an enthusiastic partner on the date. Set aside other concerns (kids, work, mothers) and engage with your husband.
  3. We love movies as much as anyone, but we suggest that movies or other entertainment make up no more than 1 out of 4 dates. They may be fun, but they usually detract from good conversation and interaction.
  4. Husband, study her to learn what she likes to do. Don’t get stuck in a rut, but don’t discount the value of sitting for extended periods of time talking together.
  5. If you don’t already have a date night line in your budget, add it now.

Action—Plan Weekly Date Nights

When Do We Move to the Next Building Block?

We recommend that you have date night three weeks in a row before moving to the next block.

Progress 33%

Building Block 2—Team Up For Frequent and Fulfilling Sex

Every couple has time for regular sex, it’s just a matter of commitment. Make time to make love. For this building block you will put it on the calendar.

Sometimes we get pushback on this because scheduling sex seems less romantic and spontaneous. Well sure, it is less spontaneous by definition. But in our experience, more planned sex leads to more unplanned sex. The more you do it, the more you both want to do it. As for romance, what could be more romantic than planning an evening of sexual delight and exploration? By knowing it’s coming, you can both prepare for the event. You can pray about it. You can let anticipation build in your own heart. You can flirt with and arouse each other throughout the day. You can engage your mind before you engage your body, which usually makes everything more pleasurable. Try it! We doubt you will conclude that it’s unromantic.

Recommendations:

  1. Set a minimum of three dates every week for pursuing erotic fulfillment together.
  2. Apply yourself to being mentally and physically prepared for each sex date, and give yourself completely and selflessly to the other.
  3. Just because some sexual encounters are scheduled doesn’t mean you can’t also jump at the chance when the mood hits at other times.
  4. Date night should be one of your sex dates.
  5. Some of these sex dates will have to be relatively quick encounters because of other commitments, but be sure to make extended time to make love at least once a week.

Action—Plan Weekly Sex Dates

When Do We Move to the Next Building Block?

After you have completed your first week of at least three sex dates.

Progress 66%

Building Block 3—Read Sheet Music

No this has nothing to do with notes on a page, but it will help you play beautiful music together. Get a copy of Dr. Kevin Leman’s Sheet Music and read it aloud together and talk through each section. If you approach it with humility, grace, honesty, and a teachable spirit, we are convinced your sexual relationship will become a grand symphony through reading this book.

Recommendations:

  1. Read together on your date night or during one of your weekly sex dates.
  2. Don’t rush through it. Take your time and learn all you can about each other.
  3. Pray for each other about your sexual relationship. (God invented it; He’s not embarrassed.)
  4. Have fun with it.
  5. Determine to overcome any inhibitions or other barriers to pleasure and intimacy.

Action—Read Sheet Music together

Progress 100%
Building Block 1
Building Block 2
Building Block 3