Today is my birthday. More importantly, 20 years ago today I asked Krista to be my wife. To my everlasting delight, she accepted.
Thank you, my love, for saying yes. You have been the most amazing gift every day for the last two decades.
Tag Archives: anniversary
Like Newlyweds, After 19 Years
As I write this, I am sitting on I-70, just west of Idaho Springs, CO. That is no exaggeration. We alternate between a complete standstill and a toddler’s version of a standstill. We have less than 100 miles and Google Maps tells us it will be at least three hours.
We are returning home from a fantastic family vacation to California (hence the inadvertent pictures last week). This trip is the last of a fast-paced summer. I have been on a three-month sabbatical and we have made the most of it. We covered ten states, two oceans, lots of family and friends, and loads of fun. And I have to say again, I have the World’s Greatest Wife.
She has served me and my children incessantly as we covered over 5,000 miles, totaling over six weeks away from home. Her packing, meal planning, navigating, event coordinating, driving, and go-with-the-flowing, have been worthy of the “Proverbs 31 Wife” award. I have rested; she has worked hard.
But maybe the most significant indicator of her wonder is the fact that as we return home (assuming the traffic dissipates), and I have two weeks remaining before I have to go to work, I cannot wait to spend them with her. (And I am already thinking about our next date.) You need to understand that we have been together almost 24/7 for three months. But like newlyweds, we can’t get enough of each other. We are not newlyweds. On August 15 we celebrated our 19th anniversary. But we love like newlyweds.
Though I love my calling as a pastor and am eager to get back to that ministry, I also love my wife and wish this could be the norm.
Krista, I love you. Thanks for being the kind of wife who causes me to want to be with you every moment of every day.
My Most Amazing Husband
So, you would think that after 20 years together my husband would know me. He should know my likes, my dislikes, my favorites, what pleases me, what makes me smile, what makes me laugh, what turns me on . . . And he does!
This August we will celebrate 19 years of marriage. Knowing we would most likely be out of town on a family vacation at the time, he thought ahead and planned a get-away to Denver this past weekend. And. it.was.amazing. Obviously, I can’t give you all of the details 
, but he packed 3 days full of my favorite things.
We stayed at a favorite B&B . . .
Ate my favorite foods . . .
Enjoyed my favorite activities . . . I just felt pampered all weekend! Yes, we were celebrating our anniversary, but he made it feel like he was celebrating choosing me. And do you know what was the best part? I was with him, the man I love, the man I greatly respect and ardently admire, the man I still desire after all this time, the man I want to spend my days and nights and months and years with, the man that I chose all those years ago.
Doug, I am so blessed to be your wife. I wouldn’t want any other life. God designed us to be good together, and every day I enjoy finding out just how right He is.
Marriage Is Not a Lottery Ticket
Krista and I were recently at a restaurant where a couple was celebrating their 40th anniversary. Their festivities included a large group of friends. From what we could tell, they spent most of the evening far apart from each other. A member of our party made the comment that by the time we reach 40 years, we’ll be farther apart too. He said that’s what happens, you spend more time apart as time goes on.
I can understand this man’s pessimism. He recently went through a painful divorce. Marriage and and happiness don’t go together in his world. But they do in our world. As time goes on for Krista and me, we what to spend more time together, not less. We want to get closer, not farther apart. So what is it? Did we just get “lucky” in choosing each other? Are we just special?
If joy in marriage were simply the result of blind chance, we wouldn’t be writing this blog. It would be like writing a blog on how to win the state lottery. Our joy is the result of working hard to do things the way God has called us to do them. We are trying to build according to His design. We strive for selfless devotion to the other’s happiness. We seek to manifest the forgiveness and grace of the gospel in our relationship with each other. We hunger and thirst for righteousness in our marriage. We pursue pleasure as representatives of Christ and His bride. We resist the urge to hold grudges. We don’t let outbreaks of sin turn into epidemics. And we don’t allow circumstances within our control to keep us apart. We hate being apart because we choose to love each other above all earthly relationships.
Happiness in marriage is not a lottery ticket. It cannot be purchased, but it can be produced. So what about you? What kind of marriage are you working toward?
Reflecting On Our Wedding Day
On Sunday, Krista and I celebrated our eighteenth wedding anniversary. Part of our celebration included watching the movie Inception, which, by the way, we both rated very highly. (She was as eager to see it as I was . . . just a small reason why she is the world’s greatest wife.) Before the movie, we visited a nearby barista and strolled around an outdoor mall. As we walked, we talked. Specifically, we reflected on our wedding ceremony. It was largely a quiet reflection, however, because we could hardly remember anything about it. So we expanded our reflection to the early years of our marriage. Again we labored to remember details. Now, for me to forget the details of an event is not terribly remarkable, even if the event occurred yesterday. Or earlier this morning. But for my wife to experience such recall failure is significant.
Eventually, after comparing mental notes and adding bits to each other’s accounts, we managed to pull together memories of getaways, vacations, and other major happenings. And we think our re-constructions are accurate. But then again, I suppose that doesn’t really matter too much at this point. Who’s going to prove us wrong?
Since then I have been reflecting a bit on our paltry reflections. On the one hand, it might seem sad that we could not remember more things from the start of our marriage. But on the other hand, we also did not recall many struggles or arguments. It’s not that there weren’t some. But they didn’t stick in our mind. That’s a good thing. And while I’m still not sure what to make of it, I do think this struggle helps us keep a good perspective. We don’t long for the good old days, nor do we linger in the distress of a difficult past. Rather, we are reminded of the importance of enjoying today. I need to love my wife today, find delight in her today, enjoy marriage today. Indeed, from this point of view, I get to experience the wonder of being a newlywed every day.