Another issue which confronts me as a father of girls, which will serve to introduce another area that we need to understand biblically, is the propriety of jewelry, make-up, perfume, stylish clothes, and the like. My oldest daughter is now eleven, but her interest in these things began a long time ago. This caused me to ask, Does the Bible speak to these things? The answer is yes.
Through the prophet Ezekiel, God described His relationship with Israel using the terminology of a man and his bride. He spoke of finding her when she was first born. She was a mess (16:4). She was alone and helpless, having been tossed into a field and left for dead (v5). But God revived and sustained her (v6). Then He made a statement pertinent to our discussion when He said about her, “Then you grew up, became tall and reached the age for fine ornaments” (v7, emphasis mine). According to God Himself, there is an appropriate age when a girl becomes ready to embellish her womanly features.
We will consider those embellishments in greater detail shortly, but first I want to draw your attention to another thing in verse 7. God also said about the young woman Israel, “Your breasts were formed and your hair had grown.” The man noticed the breasts of this young woman who attracted him. That husband, remember, is God. God noticed the expanding bosom of a girl and He found it attractive. This was not a sin for God, nor is it a sin for a man unless, of course, it gives way to lust. We will describe lust more extensively in our consideration of purity, but for now we should note that there is a way, a time, and a place where observing a woman’s chest is not sin. God portrays Himself as doing it.
Lest we be tempted to think that the “feminine decorations” spoken of earlier were for the sole purpose of attracting a husband, the text goes on to describe what God did for His bride after they were married. He said,
And I adorned you with ornaments, put bracelets on your hands, and a necklace around your neck. I also put a ring in your nostril, earrings in your ears, and a beautiful crown on your head. Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your dress was of fine linen, silk, and embroidered cloth. You ate fine flour, honey, and oil; so you were exceedingly beautiful and advanced to royalty. Then your fame went forth among the nations on account of your beauty, for it was perfect because of My splendor which I bestowed on you, declares the Lord God (Ezekiel 16:11-14).
This is how God treated His wife. He gave her bracelets, necklaces, nose rings, earrings, and a crown. And it was the good stuff, too, made of gold and silver. He bought her fancy dresses made out of expensive fabric. He also provided her with delectable food to eat. All of these things contributed to her exceeding beauty and popularity. Husband, strive to be like God in this. Adorn your wife with ornaments and jewelry as He did. Personal decorations are not evil, nor are they inherently indicative of a materialistic worldliness. Beauty is part of God’s created world, and hairstyling, rings, necklaces, perfume, nail polish, and all the rest are natural accessories to the feminine appearance.
Yes, there are passages in the New Testament which at first glance seem to downplay (if not outright deny) the place of physical decorations on women. The two most important are 1 Timothy 2:9-10 and 1 Peter 3:1-6. However, my study has brought me to the conclusion that neither Peter nor Paul are condemning the use of jewelry, braided hair, or fine clothes. Rather, they are both establishing a hierarchy of attractiveness and virtue for women. At the very top of the list of the ways by which a woman pleases God (and her husband) is the possession of noble, respectful, submissive character and conduct. This is vastly more important to her Creator than dressing to the nines and having a keen sense of seasonal fashion. However, assuming that a woman is pursuing this godly disposition on the inside, it is also natural to her gender to display the beauty that God has given to her on the outside.
As with any good thing, the danger exists of making an idol out of a woman’s looks. But we must not let the potential of evil eliminate the actual enjoyment of the good. The bottom line is this: Buy stuff for your wife that communicates to her (and those who see her) that she is your crown and glory (Prov. 12:4; 1 Cor. 11:7). And tell her, often, of her beauty, inside and out.
- Wife, what is the correct biblical balance between being obsessed with appearances, clothes, jewelry, etc. and desiring to look beautiful and feminine?
- Husband, do you know what colors she believes look best on her? What kinds of clothing does she think fit her well? Does she prefer gold or silver? Big earrings or small? Tell her your thoughts and let her judge your accuracy.
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) But even from a distance, I felt loved and cared for because of his thoughtfulness.